Paradise is Many Places

This blog is really interesting to me because I see myself as someone who doesn’t connect with places as much as I do with people. Exploring how these have shaped me has been a really cool learning experience.

I was born in Blue Springs, Missouri on July 21st, 2004. During my birth, I was born at a medical center right down the road from this park that conveniently had no doctors on staff that could deliver a baby when my Mother was rushed there. Ever since I last talked to her she still would talk about having to hold me in and all the medical complications that followed. I had to come in with a bang, apparently.

This park, outside of my Dad’s house, is the only place that I physically feel connected to in Blue Springs. I’ve only been back to the center I was born in once and I didn’t grow up in this city, so there’s not much I can say about it. This park is less than a minute drive from my Dad’s house, so we’d always come here to walk around and look at the geese that poop everywhere. My Dad is someone who enjoys deep conversations so this place feels like reflection and life. One of my favorite experiences with my father have been watching the live music that used to happen every Sunday pre-COVID and sitting on a bench during the Pokémon Go! trend and watching everyone run around with their phones like maniacs trying to catch Pokémon.

The second place that I can recall shaping me is my elementary school. I honestly cannot remember exactly what elementary felt like, I only have memories of significant events or very insignificant events. I met my best friend here, Reina (pictured on the right) in fourth grade. We have gone through four different friend groups since then and still have stuck around together, which is insane to me. She’s the type of friend I catch up with every few months and will randomly send funny videos to. We just celebrated our ten years of friendship last year, which is crazy to think that I was in fourth grade eleven years ago — it feels like it was ages ago.

Despite making my longest standing friendship at this school, what I’m reminded of when I think of it is all the trauma I experienced during this time period. It’s interesting that the worst years of my life were when I was attending school in that building, learning basic math and how to write my name. This place and time period not only shaped me relationship wise but mentally. My elementary school feels like friendship and trauma.

Artist Point, Mountainburg, Arkansas several years apart

Arkansas is the place of my Dad’s birth and initial years. I don’t feel as connected to Arkansas as he does but it is still a place where I’ve created memories and have many family members at. Since I grew up in the Kansas City Metro area in Missouri and our family members live in the Little Rock Metro area in Arkansas, we always try to take the trip down every year to see them. It’s about a six hour and a half drive if you don’t stop. My favorite part is actually the stops in Fayetteville, where we get Braums and see “The Hog” (the mascot statue of the University of Arkansas); Little Rock, which is where we stay with my favorite Uncle Eddie; Alma/Mountainburg on the way back up which is where these two photos were taken.

We stop in Alma and Mountainburg (two towns that are very near each other) because my Dad is someone who is connected to places. He always remembers anything no matter how big or small about every place he’s visited, especially if his Grandmother or Mother were connected to those places too. We stop in Alma at this specific gas station because that’s where his Grandmother would always stop to get gas (the gas station sucks, it has some cool trinkets but there is only one bathroom and it’s always dirty). We stop in Mountainburg because his Mom (my Grandmother) before the big highway was built would stop at a park there and let him and his little brother play around. Artist Point specifically is a scenic location that we only go by because it’s absolutely gorgeous. Because my Dad is so connected to these places, I am too through proxy so it is now a place that has also shaped me. Arkansas feels like my Dad, through and through.

The place that shaped me the most emotionally is by far my Gramps (Grandfather)’s workplace. Everyday when I’m in Missouri I am visiting him there or going out to breakfast. We’ve had a lot of great conversations there and I’ve had a lot of good shared experiences. One of my favorite aspects of his work is their shop cat, Lugnut. She is the cutest little lady and my best friend. Ever since they got her five or six years ago I always come by to pet here and brush her. I don’t have a pet anymore but if I did, I would want one just like Lugnut.

My Gramps is my absolute best friend. I am such a replication of him that most of my habits are remodeled after him and I get along best with old people because of him (I think they can sense I was raised by him). He was my guardian when no one else was and my greatest confidant. Although we share complete opposite ends of political values, I still love him and appreciate all that he’s done for me. One of the greatest things he has taught me is to not fear his death or dread it, because it will eventually happen anyways and there is no point in getting worked up about it. I know that even when he’s gone he’ll always be with me and when I visit Missouri I’ll drive past that plot of land he works at and smile.

This place feels like my Gramps and Lugnut, two of the best things money can’t buy.

One of the coolest places that has shaped me is by far Seoul, South Korea. On my ten day drip there I learned a lot about myself and how I behave in foreign environments. Although I can read Korean and speak very basic sentences, I am nowhere near fluent so throwing myself alone into an environment like that was one of the biggest testers of perseverance for me. Everyday I had a random interaction with someone who didn’t speak any English and I didn’t speak enough Korean, so I was forced to work on my non-verbal communication skills and understanding a lot. I am proud of myself for taking this trip and getting myself out there, but when I visit next there are a lot of things I am going to change to make my experience better.

Seoul feels like change and growth.

Fairbanks has been a time. I have been up here for two years now and have somehow still not seen the aurora (I go to bed at like 9PM every night) and just recently seen my first moose. I have made more connections with peers and Professors than I have ever done and have become a student leader. I’ve debated dropping out and I’ve won the Academic Excellency Award. Fairbanks has shaped my adult life and my habits. I’ve learned a lot about myself and a lot of academic information.

I still have one more year in Fairbanks left before I am projected to graduate (with the exception of my one year in Japan) and it feels like I’ve done everything but nothing at the same time. I’m ready but I am nowhere near ready. I am happy and very proud of myself of taking the challenge to go so far from what I’ve always known — it has worked out in the end. I jumped to the deep end of my comfort zone coming here and I couldn’t of made a better decision.

Fairbanks feels like preparation, academia, professionalism, and coldness.

What do your places feel like?