This is the first place to give me a job in Alaska. It was April 2017 when I had my interview with Vickie Rose. Vickie and Brent owned and ran Oil&Vinegar in the 5th Ave Mall. They taught me so many things and showed me kindness that I was not expecting. The reason I chose to show you all this place was because of the lessons and things I learned about myself. This is where a co-worker suggested that I go for social work. If you have read any of my other blogs, you may have guessed that we moved up here to start a new life away from my side of the family. Vickie and Brent are like parents to me. They allowed me to make mistakes and let me fix them. They gave me room to grow. They allowed me chances to strengthen my marriage. They ended up moving me up to assistant manager, before I got pregnant with my youngest son. It was sad to see them shut down because of Covid. They did end up selling the business during that time.
Within the social worker mindframe, the Rose family are very revolutionary. The biggest thing they required in a worker was a love for food. Because of this, they gave chances and hired people that others would not. They changed lives with their help. They had their employees’ backs. This would allow people to open up about their personal struggles and dreams. They were understanding and compassionate for people with kids. I cannot tell you how many times I had to call out because one of my kids were sick. Vickie would reach out to make sure the kids were not lacking in medical care. I strive to have the amount of compassion, kindness, understanding, and acceptance that they have.
Cuddy Family Midtown Park sign, April 24, 2024
Cuddy park is within a 10 minute walk from my apartment. We have spent so much time at this park. My kids love the playground. We have had picnics on the grass to watch kites being flown. There is a massive looping track that the kids can ride their bikes on. It shares a parking lot with the library. I love it because it is typically quiet except for kids laughter. The sun is always so bight and refreshing there. Sometimes, I will go there by myself to walk when I need to clear my head. It is peaceful with the massive stretches of grass. During summer, it is so beautiful with all the dandelions.
Within the social work mindset, this space is great to have. It can accomodate a large range of people. The sun, ducks, and grass help give a wide view of the space. It is perfect for talks in the sun. With a space like this, people are allowed to feel close to others without having their conversations interrupted. Social workers can meet up clients and have walking talks. This can help reduce stress and anxiety when talking about difficult problems. I, personally, have meet Eugene’s speak therapist there for her to help guide him in how to talk to others.
This is my current apartment door. Most people would look at this and think kids. This is actually healing to do. My parents were never really into decorating. When I wanted to do something. It would be on me to do it and take it down. There was never any sense of togetherness. Last year, Amaya (middle child) started talking about wanting to decorate. I remember how crushed I was when my parents either wouldn’t spend money on stuff or my efforts to decorate were unappeciated. I never want my kids to feel that way. Because of this, I started decorating our door. This door was created because the kids have been playing a lot of minecraft. When I decided on a tree, Eugene (youngest) and Amaya helped me cut the paper and tape it up. It wasn’t a lot, but it gave them a sense of accomplishment and love.
In the social work mindset, healing can take multipul forms. Recreating a hard experience is a great way to bring peace to it. Healing is not linear. Some days will be harder than others. This does not mean you are failing. It means that you had a hard day. As social workers, we need to keep boosting up and validating our clients. We need to think outside the box. Something as simple as decorating a door may be what the client needs.
Comments
17 responses to “The Process of Healing”
It’s crazy how you can meet people who see you for who you are and choose to show up for you even when there is no obligation too. We all deserve that type of encouragement, nurturing, and support.
I’m happy you got to experience that and it moved you in such a positive way.
It may seem simple to some that you decorated your door, but to me I see the breaking of generational patterns and trauma! And the beginning of beautiful memories and traditions for you and your children.
I hope you and your family have a great summer!
Thank you. We all do deserve that type of encouragement and nurturing. Sometimes, it can mean the world of difference to a person to have that backing. It is why I want to be that way for others. I understand how powerful it can be.
Thank you for seeing that. Having great memories and new traditions is something I have wanted for my kids. I want them to have a way to forever connect with me, even when I am not around.
Hi Ana! I always look forward to your blogs!
I really liked how you were able to be positive about your healing process. And the way you were able to connect the moments of your life to your understanding of social work. I can tell by your blog that you have a lot of humility in yourself. Keep up the good work.
Great sharing!
Thank you. Grandma always said that it is okay to have humility because it gives you understanding. It also allows for you to keep growing. Growing is a big part of what makes us human. As long as we keep growing, we are still living.
I know that may not be completely coherent, because they are all from different sayings, but they do go along with each other. If you do not have humility, you would not allow the acceptance of mistakes. Without knowing your mistakes, you cannot fix them. Which leads to not being able to grow past your mistakes. As long as we can accept and learn from our mistakes, we grow as people.
Ana, thank you for sharing! This was so interesting because my husband and I used to do date weekends occasionally in Anchorage from Fairbanks. Oil and Vinegar was one of the places we would go. After you purchased from them they even allowed you to bring the bottles back to refill. I thought that was great for recycling. We were so drawn to this store and at the time we were not big on understanding the many uses of oil and vinegar in cooking. After finding ourselves in the store the first time we spoke with Vicki and she was so amazing. It’s hard to say one thing. She was kind and warm and informative and just had a fantastic draw to her. We ended up learning different recipes and developed a love for cooking together because of this store. It is interesting to see so many different avenues that social work can take. Even serving the community through something that you feel like wouldn’t relate. Social work is really about people and so all aspects of life and interactions can really make a difference in someone’s life. I was happy to learn more about these amazing people and about how you are healing and seeing change within yourself in how you parent. Great job!
Vickie is the best. She has such a big heart. I have so many stories about her and Brent. Brent was a pilot. Because of this, he was gone a lot. Despite the distance, he was so easy to reach when needed. I am glad that you and your husband were able to find the store and draw closer together within your cooking. I actually learned from Professor Ace that social work can take on many forms. Because of the podcasts, it caused me to look at my time at Oil&Vinegar differently.
Ana,
I love reading your blogs because I always end up smiling or feeling extremely encouraged (usually both)! It’s so beautiful that you were able to connect with your bosses and find community within your position. I was left impressed with your story because I feel like it’s rare to find businesses where they truly value their employees and let mothers take care of their families, without making one feel guilty about having to call in.
Including your kids in an activity such as decorating is such a great idea! It’s so easy to forget that kids crave feeling a part of the family by actively participating in household activities, such as decorating. I have twin toddlers and when they have the opportunity to help “clean” their faces shine – it’s so sweet. Anyhow, you’ve reminded me of the importance of this because it’s very easy to brush including them when it can be faster to do things myself – so thank you, seriously.
Lastly, your comment, “Some days will be harder than others. This does not mean you are failing. It means that you had a hard day,” is exactly what I needed to read this morning, funny how the universe works like that. It’s been an especially hard week and I’ve been feeling like a failure, but you’re right, it’s just a hard week, not me failing.
What area of social work are you interested in? Whatever you choose, it’s apparent you’ll be excellent.
I am glad that my blogs bring such joy into your life. I never want to leave the blog ending on a negative note. There is to much negativity in this world.
Because of how Brent and Vickie ran their store, I wanted to stay. It is very hard to find someplace that sees you as a person. I know I could have gotten a better paying job, but I felt calm there. This is why I stayed as long as I did.
Kids do light up like candles when you include them. They need that connection to feel stable. I completely understand wanting to get things done quickly. I actually ran across a video recently about kids growing up. You start to lose influencability when they turn 12. 12! My oldest is 12 and I can see the difference. In the video, it said instead of just saying no, ask why not. If the reason is good like it is dangerous, then the answer is no. If the reason isn’t good, then the answer should be yes. Time is fleeting.
I talk to a lot of new moms. These moms typically feel like they are failing their children on a hourly bases. When you are unsure of yourself, this can happen. You are your worst critic. I always ask these moms a few simple questions. 1) Are your kids feed? 2) Do they feel decently loved? 3) Are they decently clean? If you answered yes to all 3 questions, then you are doing good. The reason I say decently is because emotions do happen. You can get into an agruement with your kid. They could have just rolled in some dirt. But as long as it is decently, then you are doing good.
As for what I am interested in doing, I want to be a sex therapist. I need a Master of Social Work and some working time before I can apply for the classes. But I am interested in so many different things. Because of this, I will be happy wherever I land.
Hey Ana, I really enjoyed your blog and I appreciate you sharing your story with us! I love that you are able to heal your past trauma of your childhood with your own children. It is so important to break generational trauma. It will also really help your kids connect with you and from your story it sounds like that is exactly what is happening, which is so amazing to see in families. You have a really touching story and your first bosses here in Alaska sound like amazing people. Bosses that genuinely care about their employees and make sure they are on the right path are pretty rare but so amazing to find. I had a similar experience in one of my jobs in Kenai. I miss that boss so much, she had so much love for all of us and made sure we were always fed and always doing okay mentally. Having a park you and your children can go to is also super awesome. I think getting outside especially with your family can be so healing and super healthy too! Thanks for sharing!
Thank you. Having bosses that actually care about you as a person is something that should be a normal thing. Unfortunately, it isn’t that way.
Ana, I loved your blog and seeing all the places that shaped you. Your piece about Oil&Vinegar really stuck with me. Having bosses that care so empathetically about your needs and your family’s needs is so rare and beautiful. I’m glad it was through these kind people you found social work. Even if they aren’t, found family is truly one of the most beautiful forms of human connection. Being able to choose who you are impacted by and who you learn from is one of my favorite parts of the human experience. I also loved the part of viewing places as healing, as I am a firm believer that reuniting with nature such as the park you mentioned is one of the greatest healers.
I agree with you on that. Nature is needed. It can help ground you in a way that can’t be achived easily.
Hi!
Thank you so much for sharing your story
I appreciate your picture of your door sooo much
Something that is really important to me is making my home reflect myself, and decorating it in a way that makes me happy. I am really embarrassed actually when I think about the amount of money I have spent decorating my home, but like you said it is so important and for me its what makes my home a home.
Your kids will appreciate this so much later on, and I really admire your honesty in sharing this with us
Kaia
Anything visual to remind us if who and what we are is an awesome way of remembering that life is great regardless of past experiences. We make it better by not repeating what was done to us in the past. I hear you when parents do not support our ideas or things that matter to us. I like that you included your kids for this activity.
Hi Ana, this is a nice blog. I particularly like your last paragraph. “In the social work mindset, healing can take multiple forms. Recreating a hard experience is a great way to bring peace to it. Healing is not linear. Some days will be harder than others. This does not mean you are failing. It means that you had a hard day. As social workers, we need to keep boosting up and validating our clients. We need to think outside the box. Something as simple as decorating a door may be what the client needs.” This resonates in me, thanks for sharing.
Hello Ana,
I really enjoyed reading your blog post! It’s always nice to hear about people’s journey’s. It sounds like Vickie and Brent really made a big impact on you. It’s awesome how they became like family and supported you through thick and thin. It must have been tough to see the business close down because of Covid, but it’s great that they were able to sell it. Thanks for sharing your experiences, Ana. It’s inspiring to see how you’re applying social work principles in your everyday life!
Hi Ana! It’s wonderful to hear that your first job in Alaska came with such a supportive environment. The encouragement, compassion, and understanding you received clearly played a big role in guiding you along your current path. I found similar support myself after completing treatment, and it helped to transform my life.
Also, I completely agree about Cuddy Park, it’s amazing how peaceful it is, especially considering it’s in the middle of the city!